Pain

My nights wither away in remembrance
My days spent in waiting
I look up at sky, clouds obscure the sun
I wait for the wind to sweep away the clouds
So that a ray of hope can reach me
I’m stoned on the porch awaiting your return...

I keep looking at the road
It winds away in distance as far as I can see
Hoping to see you coming back to me
Many come and many go, but I’m still alone
You must have reasons to stay back
But I’m only yours so come and take me
It rains but I still burn in agony of your separation
Where's the peace???
I want to tear away my limbs
I can't bear this anymore; will you not end this torment???
My breaths come haltingly and I gasp all the time
My eyes always hurt from lack of blinking
In case you appear for a moment and I miss
My tongue has forgotten to move from lack of use
I’ve lost count of days & nights I’ve been standing here
No postman has yet brought your message
And the fire is still burning me, charring me
If I do not see you, I do not know what I will do
The pain alone would be enough to kill me
You know my plight, but you still are absent
How can you be so cruel, O! Heart of my heart!
Your remembrance fills me and your yearning kills me
They say you'll arrive when I die
I wish death would embrace me here and now
So that YOU would come and visit me
Every atom of my worthless body screams for you
Will you not take me?? O! Soul of my soul!??
People come and advise me
But they do not know what is churning inside me
They come and give me medicines
But they do not know what I suffer from
Your sight alone can cure me
Me, your love alone can heal
What shall I write, master!
Even the words fall short of what I feel!!!
(Every rain drop burns me, what is there in life without you O MASTER!!!!)
----- Yogi…

The Mighty Offender!

I love sleeping!!

Back at college, didn't get much time to sleep, but now that i'm home for Summer Internship, sleeping covers a big part of the day. Reading my favourite books till late night, waking up late in the morning, not a good habit many might say, but i'm enjoying it.

Mom brings me a 750ml mug full of milk every morning. I drink it all without even opening my eyes, nothing should hinder my lovely sleep not even the tasty milk and after finishing off the last drop, i fall back on my pillows... my lovely sleep!!

"Chachu!" a voice would knock at my ear drums...!!
"ummmmmm!!!!!"

SLAP!!!!!!!!

How's that for a knocking at my ear drums!!?

"OOOOOOOOOiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, what was that for??!!"

Meet the mighty offender:
Yuvaan Arya,

80cm tall bare bottomed boy weighing a mighty 9.62kgs precisely, 15months old, trots like a drunkard and has got a total of 5 teeth. That, people, is my nephew (brother's son) Yuvaan aka nonu.

As soon as i shout for help, he'll run for it and i'll run after him, not to beat him but to make sure he doesn't stumble and break his few precious teeth with which he bites the skin off everyone of us. He's a champ at slapping, biting and peeling the skin off with his bare nails.

He'll sit beside me while i'll try to play my guitar, he'll stop me immediately and start pulling the strings himself as if showing me how to play the instrument properly. Always calls his mom by name rarely calls her 'mom'!

My sleep will hide in a corner a-trembling from this mighty assault. Sleep, for me, is nothing as compared to Yuvaan. He's the sweetest thing i've got.

Thus wakes me up and plays with me, the naked offender!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Great Void...

The red envelope said
"To my man"
I pulled out the archies card from inside.... It had a decorated heart on the outside with "our bond is beautiful" written in print above it. There were some more lines below the heart but i didn't read them, i had already read it many a times before. I opened the card, my heart pounding (every time i open the card, it reacts the same way.... bloody predictable (bloody & predictable)). On the top of left side was written in a beautiful hand:
"To the man who made my life seem so simple & beautiful!"
It means a lot that you are mine
"I will always love you
Miss you loads..."
On the right side was written:
"Yogi baby..."
and there were more printed lines below it but i skimmed to the end:
"Love
-XXXXXXXX"
The void, the great void in my heart seemed to expand more as i read what she had written... How much she loved me and how much i tried to make her understand that i can't. I mean she was and, in some sense, still is my best friend. And moreover, i was in love (or thought that i was though i most certainly want it to be true) with my master... how could i turn towards someone else when my heart had none else to cry for except my master?
She kept reminding me that my master is everywhere and in everyone... she said she's my master.. i thought her to be arrogant... my arrogant heart could not take all that she said....
Now that i reflect back, i see my faults.. Hey, i'm not regretting anything, whatever happens, happens for a purpose. And i see HIS purpose. Though i couldn't help noticing my own mistakes, so that i might not repeat them... It is never wrong to love anyone.. everyone is loveable and GOD is in everyone, so if you feel you love GOD, you should not turn your back on HIS beings.
And the great void yet expands more to see her falling for someone else, getting away from you and talking just twice a month when you used to talk for 8 hours a day...... And the great void expands, with my yearning, even for my master, failing me!!!!!
I wish i just could say, i'm sorry for everything.... Please forgive me!!!
May be this way, I could get close to my master once again!!!!

1

"For a person to be happy, his thoughts, words, feelings and actions should be in tandem," said one of the two I was advised to stay away from on my first day in KIAMS and I ended up getting closest to them. I sat back and gave it a thought. The statement made sense and it answered my question,"How do you stay happy?". If what you think is what you feel and what you feel is what you say and what you say is what you do, then you will be happy.